we never know.

We never know what things to come into our life the next hour, minute or second. 

We never know the big plan that has been written in response to our hope and wishes at the very beginning of our story. Yes, it's scared when you feel like you can't figure things out. 

It's what currently happening in my life. I don't know. What I can see right now is I can never reach my dreams. People around me said that too. Everything and everyone seems going against me. But, deep inside me, there is a voice that said "don't resist, let go the fears". 

I don't know what lies ahead. I don't know what is going to unfold next. In fact, I never know the big plans and I have to let myself be in peace with the unknown. 

Sometimes what we need is just accepting that we don't know and leave the unknown things as they are without trying to control how they work. Yes, it's scary. I feel it. I tried to grab everything and figured them out because my ego felt so threaten by the unknown. I thought the worst things that could happen and what I might do in that situation. My ego only wanted to be perfect, to be comfortable and to know every single thing. 

My ego doesn't want to lose the big space she always loves.

I have been my ego. 

Honestly, right now I still feel that fears. 

That this thought came, I want to be a jellyfish swimming around the sea beautifully without worrying stuff like this.

But, I do believe that I'm not being left in this situation misguided, I was not born to suffer, I was born to experience life. To experience is sometimes letting things be, not resisting. 

There are some things that you can't change exactly the way you want it. It makes me coming into a decision to surrender. 

I don't know whether I chose the right decision or not. A business article I read some time ago mentioned that it's better to take the wrong decision at first than to not decide at all. I have decided. I only want everyone to not get worried. 

It will be ended peacefully if it's meant to end. It will run smoothly, if it's meant to happen. 

In this world, everyone doesn't know what to unfold next. Everyone feels scared. Everyone feels threatened. Everyone wants to know that they are safe. But sometimes what you want doesn't come, sometimes what you like is something you need to let go of, sometimes what you want to do is something that will hurt people around you even though it's not harmful.

People's beliefs and opinions are theirs. They are the only ones who can change it. 

I don't know where my decision leads me. My intention is creating peace and to not make people around me getting worried. Even if I have to sacrifice myself, I will. I do have dreams too. If I can't make it in this life, maybe the other life. My physical body will get older and die, but my soul is eternal. 

Life itself is a mystery.